I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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