If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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