So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
