My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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