Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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