It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
