is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
