I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
