If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The ass gains better be worth it
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