You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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