mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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