And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
