I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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