Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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