"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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