two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
