I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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