That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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