I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
