i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
