Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
