Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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