I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
