i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
