just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
