I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
