I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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