Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
