does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He better not be in your backpack
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
