thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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