We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
