Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize