Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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