First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Houston, we have a blender
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
