Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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