I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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