Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize