Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
