So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
