the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
