Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I skipped work to stalk him.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
