u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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