I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Randomize
