Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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