Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
