dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
