I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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