My sheets look like a crime scene.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
