Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
