The maid of honor just puked.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
