Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
