I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
