Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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