she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
