We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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