my mouth tastes like poor choices
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
