Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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