It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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