first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ttyl tear gas
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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