apparently the secret to your success is patron
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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